Why are you called HORRIBLENOISE?

My college roommate came into my room one time while I was playing loud, aggressive, noise-punk like I always do. He yelled to me from across the room: "WHAT IS THIS HORRIBLE NOISE?".

Where do you ship?

Everywhere on earth, we have sent our products to customers in well over a dozen different countries.

Where are the shirts made?

We used to use American Apparel, but they went out of business and got bought by gildan. We liked the quality of the clothing and the fact that everything was made sweatshop free in the US, but it turns out the CEO can’t keep a company afloat to save his life … and it also turns out he’s a pretty serious sexual predateur!

Nowadays, all of our garments are produced by BELLA+CANVAS, which is a dope ass producer of high quality garments, closely comparable to American Apparel in terms of quality and cut, but actually even better if you ask me.

All our garments are produced in the Bella+Canvas factory in Nicaragua. Factory work conditions are pretty dope apparently, which is something we care a lot about. Nicaragua is a country that has seen some real turmoil in the recent past, and we are proud to be able help provide economic stimulation for the country, and jobs for its citizens.

Can you do a custom shirt design, or art commission?

Horriblenoise HATES commission work. HOWEVER, if you really like a piece of art that you've seen on Instagram or anywhere else, and you want it on a shirt, phonecase, or anything else, please do let us know. We will take it “under advisement”.

Shipping notifications on Messenger? Apple Pay? What is this futuristic shit?

My bandmate and business partner who built and runs this site is an Egyptian computer hacker who used to work for one of the biggest ecommerce platforms in the world.

He's pretty passionate about giving people a wicked-lit online shopping experience that mirrors his experience of buying stuff at street markets in Cairo, where sellers put in a lot more effort than here apparently.

My dad says he bought porno once with his credit card and got hacked. Is this site secure?

You can cop HORRIBLENOISE gear in an internet cafe with free wifi in Russia and not even Putin himself can fuc with you, because this site uses a SSL cert with 256-bit encryption. Which is the same as what large banks use to secure their customers' digicoins.

Why should I buy from you instead of amazon/topshop/supreme?

We know we can't compete with them big daddy wallets on things like shipping speed, so we make up for that by offering original produx, and the dankest customer service possible.

If you have any feedback about any of our products or have any issue with your order, just ping us on Messenger (or better yet shoot @HORRIBLENOISE himself a DM on instagram!), and we WILL sort it out. That is what you get by buying from a small biz, and is something our customers seem to appreciate.

We also don't try to honeydick you like some streetwear brands out there with ridiculously high prices, or artificial shortages. Why? Because HORRIBLENOISE has been about art and making people laugh for way longer than it has been a business.